A closer look

January 1st is an arbitrary Gregorian construct, but astrology insists the real party starts when the sun hits the equator. The astrological new year officially begins the moment the sun enters zero degrees of Aries, which flawlessly aligns with the Vernal Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere. This supposedly infuses the world with raw, explosive fire energy, perfectly explaining why everyone suddenly feels the violent urge to deep-clean their apartments.