Federal Emergency Management Agency officials actively use the operational status of local Waffle House restaurants to determine the severity of a natural disaster and the urgent need for federal resource deployment.

A closer look

Federal Emergency Management Agency officials actively use the operational status of local Waffle House restaurants to determine the severity of a natural disaster and the urgent need for federal resource deployment. Because this particular breakfast chain prides itself on remaining open through hurricanes and tornadoes, a closed restaurant signifies total catastrophic devastation in the immediate area. Known officially as the Waffle House Index, this metric is color-coded green, yellow, and red based on whether they are serving a full menu, a limited menu, or nothing at all. It is darkly hilarious that the United States government relies on the unyielding resilience of underpaid short-order cooks slinging hash browns in a hurricane to evaluate whether a town has been completely wiped off the geographical map