Japanese economists credit vending machines for generating tens of billions of dollars annually, but those same machines historically crush and kill roughly four times as many people globally as great white sharks do.

A closer look

Japanese economists credit vending machines for generating tens of billions of dollars annually, but those same machines historically crush and kill roughly four times as many people globally as great white sharks do. Due to the massive popularity of automated retail in crowded urban centers, millions of people aggressively shake the machines when their purchased snack gets stuck on the dispensing coil. The heavy metal boxes inevitably tip forward, instantly crushing the frustrated customer and creating a bizarrely common demographic of retail-related fatalities that the tourism board actively tries to suppress. It perfectly highlights the ultimate capitalist tragedy: dying violently on a dirty linoleum floor just because you refused to surrender a dollar fifty to a mechanical box holding a stale bag of potato chips!