Psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich decided in the 1930s that he had discovered 'orgone', a mystical, omnipresent life energy that was supposedly responsible for everything from gravity to human sexuality.

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Psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich decided in the 1930s that he had discovered 'orgone', a mystical, omnipresent life energy that was supposedly responsible for everything from gravity to human sexuality. To harness this magnificent cosmic force, he built and sold orgone accumulators, which were essentially just claustrophobic wooden boxes lined with sheet metal and steel wool. Reich claimed that sitting inside these glorified telephone booths would cure cancer, boost your immune system, and dramatically improve your orgasms. Prominent intellectuals of the era actually bought these expensive metal closets and sat in them for hours hoping to absorb the universe's magical libido energy. The FDA eventually threw Reich in prison for fraud, proving that the government will absolutely not let you run a lucrative business selling lonely people a magical metal box to sit in while they touch themselves