Saturn return is an astrological milestone that occurs every twenty-nine point five years when the slow-moving ringed planet finally returns to the exact mathematical position it was in when you were born.

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Saturn return is an astrological milestone that occurs every twenty-nine point five years when the slow-moving ringed planet finally returns to the exact mathematical position it was in when you were born. Astrologers claim this cosmic event triggers a brutal period of intense maturation, severe life crises, and total existential destruction as you transition into full adulthood. Coincidentally, this also happens to be the exact biological age when your youth permanently fades, your knees start making weird clicking noises, and you realize your current career path is a hollow sham, but sure, let us go ahead and blame the gas giant for your impending quarter-life meltdown