A closer look
Horoscopes printed in magazines and newspapers are legally classified as entertainment rather than factual advice to prevent writers from being sued by readers who ruin their own lives following vague cosmic instructions. This legal distinction is incredibly necessary because a terrifying number of people will genuinely liquidate their savings accounts or file for divorce just because a fifty-word paragraph next to the crossword puzzle suggested that big changes were coming their way. The entire pop astrology industry operates behind a massive liability shield, perfectly aware that their daily predictions are completely fabricated by a freelance writer who is likely heavily caffeinated and severely underpaid. It is a beautiful testament to human gullibility that we require literal consumer protection laws to stop people from making permanent, life-altering legal decisions based on a generic fortune cookie sentence written by a bored journalism major
