Renaissance magicians believed staring into a bowl of perfectly still water was the fastest way to dial an archangel

A closer look

Long before broadband internet, angels apparently operated exclusively on hydro-frequencies. Hydromancy was a massive part of Renaissance mysticism, where magicians would pour water into a sterile basin, invoke highly complex Hebrew names of God, and stare unblinking at the surface. They genuinely believed the ripples and refractions would form the faces of angels who would then happily answer yes-or-no questions about missing property and romantic gossip.