Why Bart Simpson never grows up
Ah, the temporal anomaly of animated syndication, where a child can live through thirty separate Christmases and still be in the fourth grade. Bart has been a ten-year-old menace since the late eighties, trapped in a horrifying eternal purgatory of elementary school. It’s a fantastic middle finger to the concept of time, proving that character aging is strictly forbidden if the merchandise is still selling.

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