A closer look

Literal translation of the word zodiac comes from the ancient Greek phrase zodiakos kyklos, which hilariously means the circle of little animals. This highly literal naming convention makes perfect sense when you realize that most of the original twelve constellations were named after various beasts like lions, bulls, crabs, and fishes that the ancients hallucinated while staring at dots in the night sky. The only glaring exception is Libra, the incredibly boring scales, which was actually just the claws of the Scorpio constellation before Roman astrologers rudely chopped it off to make the calendar balance out. Next time you feel deeply spiritually connected to the profound mysteries of your zodiac sign, just remember you are basically identifying your entire soul with an ancient Greek petting zoo