Diogenes the Cynic completely humiliated Plato in front of his prestigious students by barging into a lecture holding a plucked chicken and sarcastically declaring it to be a…

Diogenes the Cynic completely humiliated Plato in front of his prestigious students by barging into a lecture holding a plucked chicken and sarcastically declaring it to be a human; this unhinged piece of performance art happened because Plato had recently defined a human being as a featherless biped, a definition his followers thought was incredibly profound, but instead of writing a peer-reviewed rebuttal like a boring scholar, Diogenes found a stray bird, violently stripped it of all its feathers, and used it to utterly destroy Plato's academic credibility in three seconds flat; the stunt was so embarrassing and logically flawless that the great Academy was forced to officially amend their definition of humanity to include having broad flat nails, proving that classical Greek philosophy was basically just highly educated old men aggressively trolling each other!