Apollo astronauts bounding across the lunar surface managed to reach a top running speed of just over three miles per hour, making their majestic space exploration slightly…

Apollo astronauts bounding across the lunar surface managed to reach a top running speed of just over three miles per hour, making their majestic space exploration slightly slower than a brisk suburban power walk; despite wearing highly advanced spacesuits and operating in an environment with one-sixth of Earth's gravity, the absolute best they could do was awkwardly bunny-hop across the craters like giant, cumbersome toddlers trying to run in a bouncy castle, so while the cinematic, slow-motion footage of lunar transportation looks heroic and dramatic, in reality, they were moving so terribly slow that a moderately athletic golden retriever could have easily outpaced them; billions of dollars in rocketry and decades of scientific advancement culminated in a transportation system where our greatest national heroes could barely outrun a guy aggressively using a treadmill at your local gym!