Roman Emperor Nero desperately wanted to be seen as a legendary athlete, so he entered the Olympic Games in 67 AD, aggressively bribing the officials to ensure he won every single event he participated in.

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Roman Emperor Nero desperately wanted to be seen as a legendary athlete, so he entered the Olympic Games in 67 AD, aggressively bribing the officials to ensure he won every single event he participated in. He even competed in a ten-horse chariot race, managed to fall out of his chariot entirely, failed to finish the course, and was still awarded the gold medal by the terrified judges. He returned to Rome parading hundreds of unearned laurels, genuinely expecting the citizens to applaud his glorious, completely fabricated athletic prowess. It stands as ancient history's most pathetic display of main character syndrome, proving that having absolute dictatorial power does not stop you from being an incredibly insecure loser who needs validation from rigged sporting events