A closer look

Ancient astronomers were incredibly confused by Venus, mainly because her orbit causes her to sporadically vanish into the blinding glare of the sun. When she finally reappears on the other side, she magically transforms from the 'Evening Star' into the 'Morning Star.' Astrologers aggressively interpret this 40-day visual glitch as a period to actively reassess your failed relationships, firmly ignoring the fact that it's literally just the planet hiding behind a giant fireball.