stackyFACTSEarly consumers had to aggressively hack their dinners open with a heavy hammer and chisel just to get to their heavily salted, preserved beans.
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Relying on literal shadows to tightly manage your schedule worked wonderfully until a cloudy week in winter completely ruined your entire itinerary.
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You weren't actually supposed to eat the outside pastry; it functioned as medieval Tupperware designed solely to bake and hold the questionable meat inside.
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They just violently rang bells to announce the hour, assuming you were at least smart enough to count the loud gongs yourself to figure out the time.
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You didn't go out for a massive steak dinner; you went out to sip hot meat water because you felt a little bit under the weather and lacked modern medicine.
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The globally popular condiment actually started out as a pungent Asian brine that would confidently make modern hot dog lovers violently gag.
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Getting that absolutely perfect umami flavor required massive wooden barrels and a level of deep culinary patience modern humanity no longer possesses.
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