A closer look
Koalas possess fingerprints that are so nearly identical to human ones that Australian police have actually confused the prints of these marsupials with human suspects at crime scenes. Even under an electron microscope, the ridges, whorls, and loops on a koala's hands are virtually indistinguishable from ours, despite the fact that our evolutionary paths diverged roughly seventy million years ago. This convergent evolution means there is a non-zero chance a eucalyptus-addicted furball could technically frame you for a felony, which is exactly the kind of chaotic scenario the justice system deserves. Sadly, koalas are way too busy sleeping twenty-two hours a day and suffering from chlamydia to organize any kind of sophisticated criminal syndicate, leaving all the actual grand larceny completely up to us humans






