A closer look
Modern medicine has finally admitted that having zero friends is a terminal illness. The UK's NHS now formally issues "social prescriptions"—literally doctors ordering patients to join choir groups or community gardens. Chronic loneliness triggers systemic cortisol spikes that increase your mortality risk equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So instead of prescribing beta-blockers, physicians are treating fatal social isolation with government-mandated flower planting.






