Seventeenth-century alchemist Hennig Brand was so convinced he could create the Philosopher's Stone to turn lead into gold that he boiled down 1,500 gallons of human urine in his basement.

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Seventeenth-century alchemist Hennig Brand was so convinced he could create the Philosopher's Stone to turn lead into gold that he boiled down 1,500 gallons of human urine in his basement. He never managed to synthesize gold, but his massive stockpile of boiling pee eventually yielded a glowing white substance that burst into flames when exposed to oxygen, making him the accidental discoverer of phosphorus. Mysticism is rarely about unlocking the divine secrets of the universe and mostly just revolves around eccentric men doing incredibly unhygienic things until something accidentally explodes. Brand proved once and for all that if you hoard enough bodily fluids and apply enough heat, you might not achieve immortality, but you will definitely traumatize your neighbors and secure your spot in chemistry textbooks forever