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Slasher villains walk slowly but always catch sprinters

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According to the incredibly bizarre physics of teenage massacre cinema, intense cardiovascular fitness is utterly meaningless. No matter how aggressively a panicked victim sprints through the dense woods, the heavily masked antagonist taking casual, leisurely strides will inevitably completely bypass them and be waiting calmly behind the next tree.

Slasher villains walk slowly but always catch sprinters
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