King Henry VIII employed an official known as the Groom of the Stool whose primary job was to assist the monarch with his bowel movements and wipe his royal backside.

A closer look

King Henry VIII employed an official known as the Groom of the Stool whose primary job was to assist the monarch with his bowel movements and wipe his royal backside. Far from being a degrading punishment, this role was actually one of the most highly coveted and prestigious positions in the entire Tudor court. Because the Groom spent hours alone with the King in his most vulnerable and private moments, he became an incredibly powerful confidant, often influencing national policies, managing the royal finances, and acting as a gatekeeper for anyone seeking the monarch's favor. Noblemen actively fought for the privilege of inspecting the king's feces, knowing that managing the royal digestive system was a fast track to enormous wealth and political dominance. It completely shatters the majestic illusion of the monarchy when you realize that the most powerful geopolitical moves in sixteenth-century England were heavily influenced by the guy actively holding a damp cloth while the king struggled with gout-induced constipation