stackyFACTSMarriage wasn't remotely official until the local aristocracy literally tucked you into bed and awkwardly lingered to ensure the union was successfully sealed.
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Kings and queens routinely committed to lifelong unions with people they had never met, forcing random ambassadors to stand in at the altar so the monarchs…
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Before a certain queen popularized the look, wearing pale fabric merely proved you were rich enough to afford a garment you could only ever wear a single time.
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To maintain an aura of literal divinity, some rulers forced subjects to stare directly at the ground, claiming that establishing eye contact was magically…
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To stop invasive attendees from following the couple into the bedroom for proof of consummation, the groom would angrily throw a piece of lingerie out the…
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Families of unmarried departed people would arrange elaborate posthumous ceremonies to ensure their loved ones weren't wandering the afterlife totally single…
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The modern tradition of dragging cans behind a getaway vehicle evolved from aggressively hurling actual footwear at the departing couple to guarantee offspring.
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