Greenland sharks are the longest-living vertebrates on Earth, with a lifespan that can exceed 400 years due to their incredibly slow metabolism and the freezing temperatures of their deep ocean habitat.

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Greenland sharks are the longest-living vertebrates on Earth, with a lifespan that can exceed 400 years due to their incredibly slow metabolism and the freezing temperatures of their deep ocean habitat. These giant, sluggish scavengers reach sexual maturity at around 150 years old, meaning there are sharks currently swimming in the Arctic that were born before the United States was founded and were just hitting puberty during the Industrial Revolution. Most of them are completely blind due to a specific parasitic copepod that attaches itself to their corneas, meaning they just drift in eternal darkness for centuries, eating rotting whale carcasses. It is the ultimate aquatic retirement plan for a creature that literally has nothing better to do than exist in cold, dark, cynical apathy