stackyFACTSThe flour dough was so incredibly tough that weary bakers literally had to stomp all over it for hours just to ensure you had spaghetti.
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You weren't actually supposed to eat the outside pastry; it functioned as medieval Tupperware designed solely to bake and hold the questionable meat inside.
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Getting that absolutely perfect umami flavor required massive wooden barrels and a level of deep culinary patience modern humanity no longer possesses.
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Before the glorious invention of smooth milk chocolate processing, snacking on cocoa felt uncomfortably close to chewing on sweetened, slightly acidic dirt.
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Without an electric kettle, just making a cup of hot water required building a fire from scratch, hauling heavy iron, and waiting half the morning.
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The original slow cooker literally just consisted of throwing a bunch of hot rocks and raw meat into a dirt pit and completely burying it for hours.
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Early consumers had to aggressively hack their dinners open with a heavy hammer and chisel just to get to their heavily salted, preserved beans.
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