Drinking massive amounts of caffeine stimulates the release of adrenaline, essentially forcing your body into a synthetic state of panic that mimics the exact physiological symptoms of clinical anxiety.

A closer look

Drinking massive amounts of caffeine stimulates the release of adrenaline, essentially forcing your body into a synthetic state of panic that mimics the exact physiological symptoms of clinical anxiety. Psychologists often have to differentiate between an actual panic disorder and the self-inflicted chemical chaos of a patient who simply consumed four shots of espresso on an empty stomach. You rely on this potent nervous system stimulant to survive your morning meetings, cheerfully ignoring the fact that it makes your hands shake, your heart race, and your baseline stress levels skyrocket. It is pure comedic genius to complain about feeling perpetually overwhelmed while simultaneously downing a thirty-ounce cold brew that legally functions as a low-grade amphetamine. Embrace the jittery dread, it is the price you gladly pay to maintain the illusion of being a highly productive member of modern society