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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Thomas Aquinas required a customized semi-circular desk
Myths & mysteries

Thomas Aquinas required a customized semi-circular desk

Scholastic theology is heavy work, and it clearly took a physical toll. Aquinas grew to such massive bodily proportions later in life that standard monastic…

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Identical twins have different prints
Myths & mysteries

Identical twins have different prints

Gemini loves bragging about its twin symbolism to excuse two-faced behavior. Yet, real identical twins possess completely unique fingerprints. Even nature…

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Astrologers scrambled to invent a personality for Pluto immediately after its 1930 discovery
Myths & mysteries

Astrologers scrambled to invent a personality for Pluto immediately after its 1930 discovery

Nothing exposes a pseudoscience quite like discovering a brand new planet. When astronomers found Pluto in 1930, astrologers panicked and rapidly assigned it…

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Emerging from the solar glare for a dramatic debut
Myths & mysteries

Emerging from the solar glare for a dramatic debut

A celestial sphere appearing just before the Sun acts as a massive cosmic reset and a powerful public debut, desperately demanding maximum attention for its…

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Jupiter retrograde forces internal spiritual growth
Myths & mysteries

Jupiter retrograde forces internal spiritual growth

The planet of blind luck and excessive expansion spends a solid four months a year forcing you to actually work for your blessings. During Jupiter retrograde,…

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Void of Course Moon causes dropped plates everywhere
Myths & mysteries

Void of Course Moon causes dropped plates everywhere

Trying to accomplish tasks while the Moon is resting is entirely pointless. This void period creates massive clumsiness and guarantees that every single…

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Writing wishes on a bay leaf for instant fame
Myths & mysteries

Writing wishes on a bay leaf for instant fame

A shockingly common practice involves taking a dried leaf out of the spice rack, scribbling a desire for instant fame on it with a marker, and setting it on…

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Egyptian theme parks masqueraded as sovereign cults
Myths & mysteries

Egyptian theme parks masqueraded as sovereign cults

Building an ancient Egyptian theme park in rural Georgia is certainly a choice. Dwight York convinced followers he was an extraterrestrial master,…

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Aluminum cones amplifying phantom voices
Myths & mysteries

Aluminum cones amplifying phantom voices

Spirit trumpets were essentially cheap metal megaphones left in dark rooms so invisible entities could allegedly whisper through them. They were highly…

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Websites from the nineties still dominate
Myths & mysteries

Websites from the nineties still dominate

Unlike every other modern industry, the most respected platforms for generating grids still utilize basic legacy formatting. They feature harsh white…

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Lemons fiercely scrub immediate esoteric spaces
Myths & mysteries

Lemons fiercely scrub immediate esoteric spaces

This citrus fruit is classified by esoteric correspondence as a highly aggressive solvent. The scent alone is supposedly capable of violently dissolving thick…

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Spring equinox is a fake reset button
Myths & mysteries

Spring equinox is a fake reset button

Enthusiasts treat the spring equinox like a magical New Year's Eve where all past mistakes are erased. In reality, it is just a day where the sun hits the…

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Asteroid Nessus highlights themes of crossing lines
Myths & mysteries

Asteroid Nessus highlights themes of crossing lines

Named after a terribly behaved centaur, this chunk of rock points directly to toxic cycles and bad behavior. It highlights exactly where you are prone to…

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Rumi was a boring scholar until a vagabond arrived
Myths & mysteries

Rumi was a boring scholar until a vagabond arrived

Imagine spending your whole life being a totally respectable academic, only to throw it all away because a homeless guy roasted you. Rumi was a rigid jurist…

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Void of course moons are basically celestial buffering zones where astrologers advise against making any life decisions
Myths & mysteries

Void of course moons are basically celestial buffering zones where astrologers advise against making any life decisions

Sometimes the moon is simply between jobs, and you are expected to respect its downtime. A 'void of course' moon happens when the moon has made its final…

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Ujjayi breath sounds like the ocean
Myths & mysteries

Ujjayi breath sounds like the ocean

Constricting the back of your throat while breathing makes you sound exactly like Darth Vader. This acoustic respiratory technique generates internal heat and…

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Early Christian mystics assigned the number 888 to Jesus to counter the dreaded 666 associated with the antichrist
Myths & mysteries

Early Christian mystics assigned the number 888 to Jesus to counter the dreaded 666 associated with the antichrist

Welcome to ancient theological math, where the numbers are made up and the geometry is holy. Using the Greek system of gematria—where letters double as…

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Solar returns signify the exact annual moment the sun returns to your natal birth position to bless your birthday
Myths & mysteries

Solar returns signify the exact annual moment the sun returns to your natal birth position to bless your birthday

Celebrating a standard 24-hour birthday is for absolute amateurs. Astrologers celebrate the 'solar return,' the highly specific minute the sun hits the exact…

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Cusp signs are mathematically impossible because the sun physically cannot occupy two separate constellations at once
Myths & mysteries

Cusp signs are mathematically impossible because the sun physically cannot occupy two separate constellations at once

If you proudly claim to be a 'Gemini-Cancer cusp,' you are lying to yourself. The sun is a physical body in space. At any given microscopic millisecond, it…

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Automatic drawing was adopted by early surrealists who essentially stole the idea from crazy mediums
Myths & mysteries

Automatic drawing was adopted by early surrealists who essentially stole the idea from crazy mediums

Art snobs love praising the surrealists for unlocking the raw subconscious, but they just ripped off Victorian housewives. Spiritualists had already been…

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Renaissance magicians literally buried animal hearts full of pins to reverse a witchs curse
Myths & mysteries

Renaissance magicians literally buried animal hearts full of pins to reverse a witchs curse

Nothing screams 'enlightened European civilization' like fighting magic with aggressive littering. If you got sick in the 1600s, the logical medical response…

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Chinese astrology is based entirely on the twelve-year orbital cycle of Jupiter rather than the monthly solar cycle
Myths & mysteries

Chinese astrology is based entirely on the twelve-year orbital cycle of Jupiter rather than the monthly solar cycle

Western astrology watches the sun, but ancient China kept its eyes firmly fixed on a giant ball of gas. The Chinese zodiac's famous 12-year animal cycle…

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Imagining a glowing bubble blocks out negative energy
Myths & mysteries

Imagining a glowing bubble blocks out negative energy

The simplest form of energetic protection involves literally just pretending you are inside an indestructible, glowing hamster ball. If you imagine it hard…

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Biting horrible frost mirrors the Capricorn soul
Myths & mysteries

Biting horrible frost mirrors the Capricorn soul

A completely unyielding, deeply bitter frost effectively kills any delicate greenery attempting to thrive. This deeply resonates with the Capricorn tendency…

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