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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Saturn transits act as strict punishments
Myths & mysteries

Saturn transits act as strict punishments

Whenever this harsh ruler crosses a sensitive point in your life, it brings massive delays and heavy burdens. It is essentially reality's favorite way of…

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Waning moons justify your intense desire to ghost everyone
Myths & mysteries

Waning moons justify your intense desire to ghost everyone

Sometimes the best form of self-care is simply disappearing from the grid. As the moon shrinks back into darkness, the overarching energy demands release and…

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Taurus folks stubbornly eat the exact same lunch daily
Myths & mysteries

Taurus folks stubbornly eat the exact same lunch daily

Variety is the spice of life, but this sign prefers the bland safety of predictability. If forced to try a new sandwich, they will act as if they have been…

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Ancient mystics routinely drilled massive holes into living human skulls just to let the evil spirits escape
Myths & mysteries

Ancient mystics routinely drilled massive holes into living human skulls just to let the evil spirits escape

Got a headache? Seizures? Just acting generally weird? Ancient shamans had a foolproof, terrifying solution: trepanation. They would scrape or drill a literal…

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Ouspensky wrote massive philosophical books about the fourth dimension while heavily doing laughing gas
Myths & mysteries

Ouspensky wrote massive philosophical books about the fourth dimension while heavily doing laughing gas

The deepest philosophical revelations often come from just being completely high in a dentist's chair. P.D. Ouspensky was an intense Russian esotericist who…

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Nirguna Brahman is ultimate reality without any traits
Myths & mysteries

Nirguna Brahman is ultimate reality without any traits

Trying to describe it is an exercise in utter futility. This concept represents the absolute as completely devoid of qualities, form, or attributes. It is…

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Canine birth times are literally unknown
Myths & mysteries

Canine birth times are literally unknown

No breeder is standing by with a stopwatch when a litter of puppies is born. Any astrological profile generated for a dog is basically just a randomized word…

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Staring into a lamp flame until it speaks to you
Myths & mysteries

Staring into a lamp flame until it speaks to you

Before television, staring blankly at a single flickering wick was the ultimate entertainment. Diviners would watch the subtle movements of the flame to…

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Astrological magic was heavily documented in the Picatrix which is an insanely dense ancient Arabic grimoire
Myths & mysteries

Astrological magic was heavily documented in the Picatrix which is an insanely dense ancient Arabic grimoire

If you thought modern astrology was complicated, try brewing a potion out of brain tissue at the exact moment Venus clears the horizon. The Picatrix is an…

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Russian mystic Rasputin survived poison and bullets only to die by drowning in a freezing river after a party
Myths & mysteries

Russian mystic Rasputin survived poison and bullets only to die by drowning in a freezing river after a party

Grigori Rasputin might be the most annoying uninvited guest in history because the man simply refused to die. The self-proclaimed holy man embedded himself…

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Earth dominants demand immense levels of absolute quiet
Myths & mysteries

Earth dominants demand immense levels of absolute quiet

Loud noises are essentially a personal attack against them. They prefer environments that mimic absolute sensory deprivation, aggressively glaring at anyone…

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Harvesting vegetables strictly by nighttime glow
Myths & mysteries

Harvesting vegetables strictly by nighttime glow

Certain gardeners will wander around their backyard at midnight with a flashlight, refusing to pull a single carrot out of the ground until the nighttime…

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Antiscia creates spooky mirror points across vertical axes
Myths & mysteries

Antiscia creates spooky mirror points across vertical axes

Points sitting at equal mathematical distances from the top-to-bottom axis literally cast energetic shadows on one another. They secretly cooperate behind the…

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Heptagrams theoretically map seven distinct energetic states
Myths & mysteries

Heptagrams theoretically map seven distinct energetic states

A continuously drawn seven-pointed star is mathematically quite difficult to align perfectly. It theoretically maps the exact seven distinct vibrational…

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Asceticism originally just meant athletic training
Myths & mysteries

Asceticism originally just meant athletic training

Before it became entirely associated with starving yourself in a desert, the Greek word for this was just what wrestlers did to prepare for the Olympics.…

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Rising signs change every two hours making exact birth minute interrogations mandatory for new romantic partners
Myths & mysteries

Rising signs change every two hours making exact birth minute interrogations mandatory for new romantic partners

You cannot simply text 'what time were you born' without sounding unhinged. The ascendant sign determines your outward persona and house placements, but since…

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Pringles are legally classified as a savory biscuit
Myths & mysteries

Pringles are legally classified as a savory biscuit

You thought you were eating potato chips this entire time? Think again. Due to their absurdly low potato content and specific flour mixture, courts officially…

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Aleister Crowley once tried to magically summon a demon in Paris and ended up just getting deported
Myths & mysteries

Aleister Crowley once tried to magically summon a demon in Paris and ended up just getting deported

Turns out the French immigration authorities are significantly more terrifying than the dark forces of the abyss. The self-proclaimed 'Wickedest Man in the…

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App updates completely erase saved grids
Myths & mysteries

App updates completely erase saved grids

There is a special kind of rage reserved for opening your favorite charting app only to discover a mandatory software update wiped out all your saved data.…

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Mercury retrograde is literally just an optical illusion caused by orbital speeds tricking humans
Myths & mysteries

Mercury retrograde is literally just an optical illusion caused by orbital speeds tricking humans

Before you text your ex because the universe is 'in flux,' know that Mercury isn't actually moving backward. Earth is just passing it in orbit, creating the…

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Sixth house manages your daily chores and diet plan
Myths & mysteries

Sixth house manages your daily chores and diet plan

The most boring but necessary sector of the chart, the Sixth House is the cosmic middle manager of your life. It dictates your day job, your wellness…

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Esoteric diagrams often require a magnifying glass
Myths & mysteries

Esoteric diagrams often require a magnifying glass

Because the creators of mystical maps insist on cramming tiny symbols into impossible margins, practitioners end up squinting like 19th-century jewelers.

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Seventh house governs your open enemies
Myths & mysteries

Seventh house governs your open enemies

While it rules partnerships, this intense sector also rules the people who openly oppose you. It is the domain of known rivals, opposing counsel in a lawsuit,…

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Diurnal births create extremely loud opinion havers
Myths & mysteries

Diurnal births create extremely loud opinion havers

Being born while the sun is up guarantees you will never whisper. This daytime sect energy fills you with an annoying amount of outward confidence, forcing…

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