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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Shabistari wrote an entire poem to answer fifteen questions
Myths & mysteries

Shabistari wrote an entire poem to answer fifteen questions

Before online forums existed, you had to write a massive literary masterpiece to reply to someone. When a fellow seeker sent a letter containing fifteen…

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Fire element means zero impulse control
Myths & mysteries

Fire element means zero impulse control

You would think representing pure plasma would make these placements powerful, but mostly it just means they cannot wait in line. Fire placements run purely…

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Queen Catherine de Medici kept an astrologer on payroll who supposedly cursed her political rivals using black magic
Myths & mysteries

Queen Catherine de Medici kept an astrologer on payroll who supposedly cursed her political rivals using black magic

Forget sending a passive-aggressive email; the French royal court preferred a much more celestial approach to HR disputes. The ruthless 16th-century Queen…

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Madame Blavatsky chain smoked pure hashish
Myths & mysteries

Madame Blavatsky chain smoked pure hashish

Reaching higher planes sometimes requires a little herbal assistance. Madame Blavatsky reportedly smoked hashish endlessly while churning out massive esoteric…

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Drinking only pulverized juice achieves higher enlightenment
Myths & mysteries

Drinking only pulverized juice achieves higher enlightenment

Chewing solid food is entirely too exhausting for someone focused on ascending to a higher frequency. Liquidarianism is the absolute commitment to consuming…

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Sheep possess surprisingly great facial memory
Myths & mysteries

Sheep possess surprisingly great facial memory

The Sheep is associated with harmony and peace. Sheep actually have incredible facial recognition and can remember the faces of fifty other sheep for years.…

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Pet birth charts are wildly inaccurate
Myths & mysteries

Pet birth charts are wildly inaccurate

Enthusiasts will furiously try to map out the cosmic profile of their adopted stray cat, completely ignoring the fact they have no idea when it was born. They…

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Abracadabra strictly translates to I create as I speak
Myths & mysteries

Abracadabra strictly translates to I create as I speak

People casually throw this phrase around during casual performances, completely missing its profound linguistic roots. The source phrase literally means…

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Water elements use crying as a defensive weapon
Myths & mysteries

Water elements use crying as a defensive weapon

You cannot win an argument against someone who is sobbing uncontrollably. They utilize their profound sensitivity as a shield, instantly making anyone who…

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Bright yellow induces severe Gemini overthinking
Myths & mysteries

Bright yellow induces severe Gemini overthinking

Bright yellow is visually loud, incredibly stimulating, and famously known to cause visual fatigue. It is the exact color equivalent of a Gemini talking at…

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Inner light philosophy makes external authorities obsolete
Myths & mysteries

Inner light philosophy makes external authorities obsolete

Why pay a middleman when you have direct access to the boss? Central to certain ascetic groups, this idea posits that every human being has a direct, internal…

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Pink outfits channel incredibly fluffy Venus energy
Myths & mysteries

Pink outfits channel incredibly fluffy Venus energy

Looking like a giant piece of cotton candy is exactly what Venus wants. This soft, highly aesthetic influence guarantees you will prioritize looking cute over…

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Enneagram personalities were invented in a dream
Myths & mysteries

Enneagram personalities were invented in a dream

Your entire core personality was literally dreamed up. The Enneagram system wasn't born from clinical research, but heavily derived from a specific mystic's…

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Indra's net is an infinite web of reflective nodes
Myths & mysteries

Indra's net is an infinite web of reflective nodes

Long before the internet existed, ancient philosophers conceptualized a web that connects literally everything. Described in Hua-yen Buddhism, this cosmic net…

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Ephemerides accurately track exact sweeping celestial points
Myths & mysteries

Ephemerides accurately track exact sweeping celestial points

These highly detailed resources provide the precise locations of absolutely every major celestial body. They are heavily relied upon by practitioners to…

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Algol is notorious for causing intense physical danger
Myths & mysteries

Algol is notorious for causing intense physical danger

It is actively blamed for extreme physical danger and generally apocalyptic days. If everything around you is unexpectedly catching fire, this specific…

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Enstasy requires aggressively diving into your own mind
Myths & mysteries

Enstasy requires aggressively diving into your own mind

Unlike ecstasy, where you supposedly leave your body, enstasy requires aggressively plummeting strictly inward. It treats the human mind as a totally infinite…

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Tying yourself into incredibly painful knots
Myths & mysteries

Tying yourself into incredibly painful knots

To untangle the mind, some practitioners physically tangle their limbs into extreme, pretzel-like contortions. They believe maintaining these agonizing…

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