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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Dharana requires unbroken concentration on a single point
Myths & mysteries

Dharana requires unbroken concentration on a single point

Before you can merge with an object, you have to lock your attention onto it without getting distracted by a single stray thought. It is nearly impossible for…

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Ignoring outside distractions entirely is a focused practice
Myths & mysteries

Ignoring outside distractions entirely is a focused practice

Pretending that loud noises and annoying people literally do not exist requires immense practice. It is the ultimate mystical tool for selectively ignoring…

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Maya translates strictly to the grand illusion of reality
Myths & mysteries

Maya translates strictly to the grand illusion of reality

Everything you stress about, from your job to your unread emails, is completely fake according to this concept. It is the original matrix theory without any…

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Tibetan monks popularized the practice of reading future catastrophic events in high altitude lakes
Myths & mysteries

Tibetan monks popularized the practice of reading future catastrophic events in high altitude lakes

Why read tea leaves when you can hike up a freezing mountain and stare into a body of water to see the future? In Tibetan mysticism, the practice of staring…

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Babylonian exorcists made patients eat dog feces to make their bodies far too disgusting for demons to inhabit
Myths & mysteries

Babylonian exorcists made patients eat dog feces to make their bodies far too disgusting for demons to inhabit

Long before Hollywood gave us spinning heads and holy water, the ancient Babylonians had a far grosser method for expelling demons. They believed illness was…

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Draping heavy fabric over yourself marks a boundary of reverence
Myths & mysteries

Draping heavy fabric over yourself marks a boundary of reverence

Putting on specific large coverings before entering designated zones marks a boundary of reverence, and standardizes everyone's silhouette instantaneously.

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A small brush was used to sweep the ground ahead before every careful step
Myths & mysteries

A small brush was used to sweep the ground ahead before every careful step

Clearing the path before each step represents extreme care, resulting in an incredibly slow commute just to walk down a simple hallway.

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Pilgrims roll sideways around a shrine as an intense act of devotion
Myths & mysteries

Pilgrims roll sideways around a shrine as an intense act of devotion

Advancing sideways across the ground rather than walking normally is an intense show of devotion, effectively turning a believer into a human steamroller.

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Paying massive sums for a secret whispered word
Myths & mysteries

Paying massive sums for a secret whispered word

Some leaders charge astronomical fees just to assign you a unique personal syllable to chant, proving that capitalism truly has no boundaries.

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Touching a tiny case mounted on doorframes
Myths & mysteries

Touching a tiny case mounted on doorframes

Affixing a small container to the entrance of a house and tapping it upon entry serves as a physical reminder of faith and a very efficient way to share dust…

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Following a leader situated on a raised throne
Myths & mysteries

Following a leader situated on a raised throne

Placing the main speaker on a heavily decorated chair ensures a clear hierarchy, physically forcing everyone else to look up just to make contact.

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Taking a vow to own absolutely nothing
Myths & mysteries

Taking a vow to own absolutely nothing

Promising to never hold private property supposedly liberates the soul, outsourcing all the actual stress of logistics to incredibly organized followers.

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Ringing a small handheld bell repeatedly
Myths & mysteries

Ringing a small handheld bell repeatedly

Chiming a tiny instrument rapidly clears the surrounding atmosphere, effectively snapping everyone to attention like a frustrated hotel clerk.

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Demanding extreme early wakeups constantly
Myths & mysteries

Demanding extreme early wakeups constantly

Forcing everyone to rise at absolutely absurd early shifts is a staple of communal discipline, capitalizing on the fact that nobody has the energy to complain.

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Singing entirely on one continuous single note
Myths & mysteries

Singing entirely on one continuous single note

Vocalizing on exactly one unbroken pitch demonstrates remarkable physical control, completely eliminating the need to ever learn an actual melody.

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Entering rooms exclusively right side first
Myths & mysteries

Entering rooms exclusively right side first

Forcing a specific directional entry is a minor physical discipline that mostly just complicates the simple act of walking through a standard doorway.

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Scrubbing the personal footwear of a leader
Myths & mysteries

Scrubbing the personal footwear of a leader

Cleaning a leader's sandals is sold as the ultimate act of humility, conveniently providing the leader with free premium shoe shining services.

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Traversing a long path by repeatedly laying flat
Myths & mysteries

Traversing a long path by repeatedly laying flat

Advancing forward only by the length of yourself is a grueling test of faith that makes standard walking seem like an absolute luxury.

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