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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Virgo represents the digestive system which is why their anxiety always manifests as bad nausea
Myths & mysteries

Virgo represents the digestive system which is why their anxiety always manifests as bad nausea

In the cosmic distribution of body parts, Virgo was handed the intestines and the digestive system. Considering Virgo is the sign of overthinking, neurotic…

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Typing errors cause massive panic attacks
Myths & mysteries

Typing errors cause massive panic attacks

Enthusiasts frequently suffer minor heart attacks when they realize they accidentally typed the wrong birth year into a grid generator. For ten horrifying…

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Mutable earth means constantly lowering expectations
Myths & mysteries

Mutable earth means constantly lowering expectations

Flexibility meets realism, resulting in a profound disappointment with how incompetent everyone else is. They constantly adjust their practical plans to…

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Blaming missed alarms on the current season
Myths & mysteries

Blaming missed alarms on the current season

People who simply forgot to set their phone alarm will confidently look their boss in the eye and blame their extreme tardiness on the heavy, sluggish…

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Nocturnal planets thriving exclusively in the dark
Myths & mysteries

Nocturnal planets thriving exclusively in the dark

Venus and Mars do their absolute best cosmic work when the Sun is entirely hidden below the horizon, operating flawlessly under the cover of darkness like…

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At least one planet is in retrograde for approximately eighty percent of the standard calendar year
Myths & mysteries

At least one planet is in retrograde for approximately eighty percent of the standard calendar year

Stop using retrograde as an excuse for your life falling apart, because it is almost always happening. When you factor in Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter,…

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Judging a coworker strictly by their birth month
Myths & mysteries

Judging a coworker strictly by their birth month

Office dynamics are routinely ruined when a new hire reveals they were born in early March, instantly causing three people to assume they are overly sensitive…

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Sagittarius individuals lose their keys three times daily
Myths & mysteries

Sagittarius individuals lose their keys three times daily

Keeping track of small physical objects is entirely too restraining for their grand vision. They rely entirely on pure chaos and blind hope to eventually find…

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Cancer folks keep useless grocery receipts from a decade ago
Myths & mysteries

Cancer folks keep useless grocery receipts from a decade ago

Throwing out a piece of trash feels like erasing a sacred memory. They emotionally bond with old pieces of paper because letting go of the past requires a…

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Niffari claimed God told him that knowledge is a giant veil
Myths & mysteries

Niffari claimed God told him that knowledge is a giant veil

Imagine spending your whole life studying books, only to realize the books are exactly the problem. The 10th-century visionary Niffari wrote that he was…

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Applying cosmetics acts as an energetic shield
Myths & mysteries

Applying cosmetics acts as an energetic shield

Glamour manipulation dictates that putting on your everyday makeup with intention transforms it into an energetic barrier. Suddenly, your routine concealer…

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Attaching a lie detector to a plant to prove it has feelings
Myths & mysteries

Attaching a lie detector to a plant to prove it has feelings

Interrogating a houseplant is a totally normal way to spend an afternoon if you have a spare polygraph machine. In the 1960s, a researcher attached electrodes…

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French author Eliphas Levi popularized esoteric associations
Myths & mysteries

French author Eliphas Levi popularized esoteric associations

Creating a spreadsheet for the invisible world. Before Levi formalized the system in the nineteenth century, esoteric traditions were a scattered mess. He…

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Suspended keys unlock answers from the cosmos
Myths & mysteries

Suspended keys unlock answers from the cosmos

Losing your keys is bad, but using them for advice is weird. Cleidomancy hangs a key from a string to answer pressing questions based on its swinging pattern.…

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Scorpio dictates human reproductive organs and bowels
Myths & mysteries

Scorpio dictates human reproductive organs and bowels

Leave it to the darkest, most intense water element to claim dominion over the parts of the body we legally have to cover in public. It perfectly explains…

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Subscription tiers lock away bad news
Myths & mysteries

Subscription tiers lock away bad news

Free versions of popular apps will gladly tell you that you are having a wonderful, incredibly lucky week. However, if you want to know about the impending…

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Trappist monasteries generate millions brewing beer
Myths & mysteries

Trappist monasteries generate millions brewing beer

Vows of poverty are significantly easier to maintain when your basement is a massive profit center. A select few abbeys fund their entire quiet existence by…

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Sunyata declares that true emptiness is the ultimate form
Myths & mysteries

Sunyata declares that true emptiness is the ultimate form

Who knew that having absolutely nothing could be so fulfilling? This central Buddhist concept insists that all things are completely empty of intrinsic,…

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