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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Tattoos of elements get covered up most
Myths & mysteries

Tattoos of elements get covered up most

People rush to get an elemental symbol tattooed at eighteen, only to realize later it looks like a generic corporate logo. Tattoo artists make a fortune…

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Astronomers theorize the Star of Bethlehem was just a rare astrological conjunction of Venus and Jupiter
Myths & mysteries

Astronomers theorize the Star of Bethlehem was just a rare astrological conjunction of Venus and Jupiter

The ultimate Christmas miracle might have just been two planets photobombing each other. Modern astronomers running backward orbital calculations have…

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Respected psychiatrist Ian Stevenson spent forty years interviewing toddlers who claimed they died in horrible ways
Myths & mysteries

Respected psychiatrist Ian Stevenson spent forty years interviewing toddlers who claimed they died in horrible ways

It is genuinely unsettling how many random toddlers can accurately describe the exact village where they supposedly died decades ago. Dr. Stevenson traveled…

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Ancient Mesopotamians literally carved the very first recorded horoscopes onto heavy clay tablets around 410 BC
Myths & mysteries

Ancient Mesopotamians literally carved the very first recorded horoscopes onto heavy clay tablets around 410 BC

Before you could open an aesthetically pleasing iOS app to find out you were going to have a bad Tuesday, someone had to smash the bad news into a rock. The…

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Arabic parts use complex fractional math to calculate incredibly specific things like sudden wealth
Myths & mysteries

Arabic parts use complex fractional math to calculate incredibly specific things like sudden wealth

Medieval astrologers loved math homework. They created "Parts" or "Lots" by taking the degree of one planet, subtracting another, and adding a third to create…

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Cardinal signs initiate the four seasons and use this astrological fact to justify being highly bossy
Myths & mysteries

Cardinal signs initiate the four seasons and use this astrological fact to justify being highly bossy

Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn are known as the Cardinal signs because their zodiac seasons perfectly align with the start of spring, summer, fall, and…

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Palmistry became wildly popular in the nineteenth century because it gave aristocrats an excuse to touch hands
Myths & mysteries

Palmistry became wildly popular in the nineteenth century because it gave aristocrats an excuse to touch hands

In an era where showing an ankle was considered scandalous, the upper class had to get creative to flirt. Palmistry disguised itself as ancient mystical…

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Ninth house rules foreign travel and higher education
Myths & mysteries

Ninth house rules foreign travel and higher education

The designated zone of running away from your actual problems by moving to a different country or racking up student debt. It proves the cosmos fully supports…

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Placidus is the most popular house system only because the printing press made those specific tables cheaper
Myths & mysteries

Placidus is the most popular house system only because the printing press made those specific tables cheaper

Astrologers love to argue fiercely over which 'house system' is the most spiritually accurate. The hilarious truth? Placidus dominates modern astrology…

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Fixed earth energy vehemently refuses to leave the couch
Myths & mysteries

Fixed earth energy vehemently refuses to leave the couch

Once they have secured a comfortable seated position, moving them requires heavy industrial lifting. They will gladly endure extreme dehydration rather than…

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Manifestation gurus popularized forced positive thinking
Myths & mysteries

Manifestation gurus popularized forced positive thinking

A massive wave of self-help entirely convinced millions that a bad mood would permanently ruin their destiny. It created a generation absolutely terrified of…

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Emeralds heavily validate extreme Taurus indulgence
Myths & mysteries

Emeralds heavily validate extreme Taurus indulgence

Why settle for a basic rock when you can hoard something wildly expensive? Emeralds perfectly justify the immense Taurus need to possess shiny, highly valued…

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Ceres dictates how you poorly nurture humans
Myths & mysteries

Ceres dictates how you poorly nurture humans

This massive asteroid is supposed to represent care and nourishment, but usually just exposes how terrible you are at offering comfort. It shows exactly why…

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Delivery room clocks are never in sync
Myths & mysteries

Delivery room clocks are never in sync

The clock on the delivery room wall and the nurse's wristwatch are almost always a few minutes apart. Your precise astrological identity depends entirely on…

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Rubies are literally just red sapphires
Myths & mysteries

Rubies are literally just red sapphires

Leo proudly claims the ruby, one of the most expensive gems. A ruby is literally just a sapphire that happens to be red due to a chromium mutation. This is…

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Sapphires attempt to soothe frantic Virgo panic
Myths & mysteries

Sapphires attempt to soothe frantic Virgo panic

Virgos spend most of their waking hours intensely agonizing over microscopic flaws that nobody else notices. Sapphires are incredibly dense, durable stones…

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Closest orbital point magnifying basic survival
Myths & mysteries

Closest orbital point magnifying basic survival

The perigee is where an orbiting body swings closest to the central point. It intensifies raw, animalistic survival instincts, completely overriding your…

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Accidental dignities assess situational external power
Myths & mysteries

Accidental dignities assess situational external power

Even if a planet is fundamentally weak by sign, being placed in a highly visible house grants it massive influence. It proves that sheer highly visible…

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Uranus moves slowly enough to define a generation
Myths & mysteries

Uranus moves slowly enough to define a generation

Its agonizingly slow path means you share your wildest eccentricities with millions of people at once. It groups massive chunks of the population into shared…

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Medieval monks tried to mathematically calculate the exact date of the apocalypse using weird numbers
Myths & mysteries

Medieval monks tried to mathematically calculate the exact date of the apocalypse using weird numbers

If you give a terrified religious scholar enough free time, they will absolutely turn into a conspiracy theorist. Monks spent centuries measuring the precise…

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Jupiter regularly rains liquid neon chunks into its core
Myths & mysteries

Jupiter regularly rains liquid neon chunks into its core

The largest gas giant in the neighborhood puts terrestrial thunderstorms to shame. Deep inside the intensely pressurized atmosphere, vital elements literally…

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Yaldabaoth is basically an angry lion-faced snake
Myths & mysteries

Yaldabaoth is basically an angry lion-faced snake

The terrifying architect of the physical realm is vividly depicted as a bizarre chimera with massive anger issues and zero self-awareness. Ignorant of higher…

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Neoplatonists desperately wanted to merge with everything
Myths & mysteries

Neoplatonists desperately wanted to merge with everything

Through the concept of henosis, the ultimate goal was to lose all individual boundaries and fuse completely with the 'One.' It implies that having a distinct,…

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Quartz crystals only gained magical healing prestige because they happen to keep extremely precise time in watches
Myths & mysteries

Quartz crystals only gained magical healing prestige because they happen to keep extremely precise time in watches

Your incredibly expensive rose quartz only has a mystical reputation because mid-century scientists realized the crystal structure oscillates perfectly for…

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