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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Hermeticists insisted all religions share one ancient truth
Myths & mysteries

Hermeticists insisted all religions share one ancient truth

The original 'coexist' bumper sticker, but with significantly more Latin. Proponents of the philosophia perennis argued that a single, unbroken chain of…

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Holding clear quartz aggressively amplifies mood
Myths & mysteries

Holding clear quartz aggressively amplifies mood

This transparent tool acts like a megaphone for your energetic state. If you are angry while holding it, you will just broadcast that anger louder, making it…

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Ephemerides list absolute coordinates
Myths & mysteries

Ephemerides list absolute coordinates

Math is horrifying, but it makes the interpretations actually work. Ephemerides are massive tables listing exact celestial coordinates over time, proving that…

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Ancient Indian philosophy denies your personal existence
Myths & mysteries

Ancient Indian philosophy denies your personal existence

Advaita Vedanta solves the problem of human suffering by simply claiming you don't actually exist. The philosophy dictates that individual identity is an…

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Micro-divisions creating pure identity chaos
Myths & mysteries

Micro-divisions creating pure identity chaos

If you want to spiral into a true identity crisis, look at duads. These are two-and-a-half-degree micro-slices of the sky wheel that add yet another layer of…

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Aleister Crowley tried to summon the god Pan in Paris and ended up giving his friends a mental breakdown
Myths & mysteries

Aleister Crowley tried to summon the god Pan in Paris and ended up giving his friends a mental breakdown

Nothing ruins a nice Parisian vacation quite like your weird friend trying to invoke an ancient goat deity. In 1913, notorious occultist Aleister Crowley…

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Plucking flower petals offers life guidance
Myths & mysteries

Plucking flower petals offers life guidance

The classic game of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not is just amateur floromancy. True practitioners observe the exact angle and speed at which petals fall to the…

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Walking behind Aries requires marathon training
Myths & mysteries

Walking behind Aries requires marathon training

Strolling casually does not exist in their vocabulary. Every trip to the grocery store or mailbox is treated like an Olympic sprint where everyone else is an…

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Chinese Horse signs exit gatherings without saying goodbye
Myths & mysteries

Chinese Horse signs exit gatherings without saying goodbye

Farewells are tedious traps designed to prevent immediate freedom. The moment they feel slightly bored, they will completely vanish into the night without…

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Ice cubes are wholly governed by Saturn
Myths & mysteries

Ice cubes are wholly governed by Saturn

Saturn is cold, rigid, and stops everything dead in its tracks. Ice cubes are the perfect physical manifestation of this freezing energy, literally slowing…

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Second decan dilutes your primary annoying zodiac traits
Myths & mysteries

Second decan dilutes your primary annoying zodiac traits

Because being a one-dimensional caricature gets boring. Placements in the middle segment of a sign borrow energy from a neighboring sign within the same…

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Blind Bulgarian mystic Baba Vanga supposedly predicted 9/11 while also warning about a nonexistent 2010 nuclear war
Myths & mysteries

Blind Bulgarian mystic Baba Vanga supposedly predicted 9/11 while also warning about a nonexistent 2010 nuclear war

Confirmation bias is a prophet's best friend. Baba Vanga is famous on the internet for vaguely predicting that 'steel birds' would attack America. People…

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Aries prefers cutting knots instead of untying them
Myths & mysteries

Aries prefers cutting knots instead of untying them

Meticulously picking apart a tangled mess is entirely out of the question. Why waste precious energy when a sharp pair of scissors solves the problem in two…

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Carrots are actually ruled by Mercury
Myths & mysteries

Carrots are actually ruled by Mercury

Mercury rules over quickness, intellect, and swift movement. Carrots get swept under this umbrella because they grow fast and supposedly help you notice tiny…

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Neptune lingers for fourteen years in one specific zone
Myths & mysteries

Neptune lingers for fourteen years in one specific zone

The planet of delusion moves so slowly that an entire generation shares the exact same bizarre flavor of escapism. It spends a decade and a half completely…

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Composite alignments merge two people into one messy entity
Myths & mysteries

Composite alignments merge two people into one messy entity

Instead of comparing two sets of data, this method averages the midpoints to create a completely new, independent profile for the relationship itself. It…

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Air elements deliberately detach from heavy emotional pain
Myths & mysteries

Air elements deliberately detach from heavy emotional pain

Feelings are entirely too messy for these absolute intellectual snobs. Instead of crying like a normal person, they will literally rationalize their trauma…

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New Orleans voodoo queen Marie Laveau gathered all her mystical secrets by working as a society hairdresser
Myths & mysteries

New Orleans voodoo queen Marie Laveau gathered all her mystical secrets by working as a society hairdresser

You don't need supernatural omniscience when you have access to the gossiping elite's split ends. Marie Laveau ruled 19th-century New Orleans with an iron…

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Gnostics thought procreation just trapped more divine sparks
Myths & mysteries

Gnostics thought procreation just trapped more divine sparks

The absolute worst baby shower guests in recorded history. Because they viewed the physical world as a fundamentally flawed prison, many sects aggressively…

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Locomotive charts lack one vital piece
Myths & mysteries

Locomotive charts lack one vital piece

This chart shape leaves exactly one massive empty wedge, driving you to spend your entire life frantically trying to fill a void that cannot be fixed.

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Solipsistic mystics think they are the only real thing
Myths & mysteries

Solipsistic mystics think they are the only real thing

Taking entirely extreme inward focus to its absolute maximum limit, solipsism concludes that nothing outside your own mind can actually be proven to exist. It…

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Refusing to stand up is a core Taurus characteristic
Myths & mysteries

Refusing to stand up is a core Taurus characteristic

Gravity is their best friend and their constant reason to remain horizontally aligned. Standing requires effort, and effort violently contradicts their…

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Tossing dried beans reveals hidden truths
Myths & mysteries

Tossing dried beans reveals hidden truths

Making soup takes a backseat to uncovering destiny. Pessomancy throws handfuls of dried beans onto the dirt and interprets their spacing. A cluster of legumes…

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Undines comfortably reside in freezing cold water
Myths & mysteries

Undines comfortably reside in freezing cold water

The aquatic entities that absolutely refuse to walk on dry land under any circumstances. These mythological water beings exist purely within lakes, rivers,…

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