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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Turning in reverse to ghost everyone right at climax
Myths & mysteries

Turning in reverse to ghost everyone right at climax

When a celestial sphere promises a massive event but reverses its course entirely, leaving everyone incredibly disappointed and fully ghosted by the universe.

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Myths & mysteries

Annie Besant lost child custody over controversial books

Publishing pamphlets on birth control is a fast track to family court disaster in the 1870s. The prominent Theosophist was legally stripped of her daughter by…

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Vatican administrators utilize complex accounting software
Myths & mysteries

Vatican administrators utilize complex accounting software

You can't manage a global empire of cathedrals using parchment and quill anymore. The modern ecclesiastical headquarters relies on incredibly dense,…

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Stoics believed the universe is emotionally codependent
Myths & mysteries

Stoics believed the universe is emotionally codependent

Through the concept of sympatheia, Stoic thinkers argued that entirely every part of the cosmos is intimately linked. It essentially turns reality into a…

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Tinder data reveals that adding your zodiac sign to your dating profile significantly increases your match rate
Myths & mysteries

Tinder data reveals that adding your zodiac sign to your dating profile significantly increases your match rate

It turns out the easiest way to seem emotionally available without going to therapy is to just throw a little crab emoji in your bio. According to internal…

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Voodoo queen Marie Laveau hosted massive magical gatherings on the mosquito-infested shores of Lake Pontchartrain
Myths & mysteries

Voodoo queen Marie Laveau hosted massive magical gatherings on the mosquito-infested shores of Lake Pontchartrain

She was less of a spooky witch and more of a 19th-century underground event planner. Laveau orchestrated massive, racially integrated St. John's Eve bonfires…

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Seventh house reveals your future ex-spouse
Myths & mysteries

Seventh house reveals your future ex-spouse

The seventh house is basically a cosmic mirror reflecting the traits you hate, which you then marry. It governs binding contracts, open enemies, and the…

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Paracelsus believed that human diseases could be cured by harnessing the magical magnetic energy of the stars
Myths & mysteries

Paracelsus believed that human diseases could be cured by harnessing the magical magnetic energy of the stars

Why take actual medicine when you can just violently strap a piece of iron to your forehead? Paracelsus was an arrogant Renaissance physician who threw…

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Local news anchors struggle with names
Myths & mysteries

Local news anchors struggle with names

Whenever a local morning broadcast attempts to do a lighthearted segment on the daily blurbs, the anchors inevitably butcher the pronunciation of every single…

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Water signs romanticize suffering for dramatic effect
Myths & mysteries

Water signs romanticize suffering for dramatic effect

A normal heartbreak is insufficient; it must be framed as a tragic, poetic loss of epic proportions. They amplify their own sadness purely for the aesthetic…

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Crabs taste with their hairy legs
Myths & mysteries

Crabs taste with their hairy legs

Cancer claims the crab, a crustacean that uses special bristles on its legs to taste its environment. So when this sign claims to be highly sensitive and…

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Judging a stranger solely on their birthday
Myths & mysteries

Judging a stranger solely on their birthday

It is entirely socially acceptable in some circles to hear someone was born in November and immediately decide they are a secretive, untrustworthy villain,…

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Emma Hardinge Britten channeled speeches from dead historical figures to inspire political reform in London
Myths & mysteries

Emma Hardinge Britten channeled speeches from dead historical figures to inspire political reform in London

Nothing validates a political manifesto quite like claiming George Washington co-authored it from beyond the grave. Emma Hardinge Britten was a massive…

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Third eye opening supposedly induces massive headaches
Myths & mysteries

Third eye opening supposedly induces massive headaches

Gaining ultimate cosmic vision comes with a terrible physical toll. As your psychic center aggressively boots up, it allegedly causes throbbing pain directly…

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FBI data supposedly reveals Cancer is the most arrested zodiac sign but the bureau denies tracking this
Myths & mysteries

FBI data supposedly reveals Cancer is the most arrested zodiac sign but the bureau denies tracking this

It is wildly entertaining to imagine federal agents profiling serial killers by their rising signs, but it's pure fiction. An incredibly persistent internet…

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Muladhara conceptually anchors subtle energy to the ground
Myths & mysteries

Muladhara conceptually anchors subtle energy to the ground

Before you can attempt to achieve lofty abstract states, you supposedly need a heavy geometric anchor to keep you tethered to baseline reality. This…

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Water elements are traditionally classified as mute
Myths & mysteries

Water elements are traditionally classified as mute

Ancient texts designated the overly emotional signs as completely silent. It implies that people ruled by feelings are so choked up by their own internal…

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Sextile aspects offer tiny advantages
Myths & mysteries

Sextile aspects offer tiny advantages

Not quite a lottery win, but maybe finding a crisp twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk. Sextile aspects offer tiny, helpful advantages that require just a…

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