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Untitled Goose Game lets you ruin a village afternoon
Games

Untitled Goose Game lets you ruin a village afternoon

Instead of saving the world from catastrophic ruin, you are explicitly tasked with completely ruining a quaint village afternoon. The entire experience…

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Tetherball matches naturally accelerate as the rope tightens
Games

Tetherball matches naturally accelerate as the rope tightens

Because violently slapping a heavy rubber sphere wasn't dangerous enough on its own. As the cord repeatedly wraps around the metal pole, the physical radius…

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Cyberpunk 2077 lets you ride with Keanu Reeves
Games

Cyberpunk 2077 lets you ride with Keanu Reeves

Amidst the endless violent chaos of a futuristic dystopia, taking a brief moment for pure leisurely enjoyment is mandatory. Players can actively repair an…

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Mass Effect lets you hunt a tiny space hamster
Games

Mass Effect lets you hunt a tiny space hamster

Because saving the entire galaxy from existential annihilation clearly requires securing a heavily terrified rodent. Buried deep below decks, players can…

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I Am Bread makes becoming toast a survival challenge
Games

I Am Bread makes becoming toast a survival challenge

Because traversing a deeply hazardous kitchen as a sentient baked good is completely logical. You are entirely forced to aggressively flop your doughy corners…

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Water balloons can hit before they burst
Games

Water balloons can hit before they burst

Because the heavily anticipated refreshing splash is completely overshadowed by absolute sheer agony. The thin latex shell entirely fails to rupture fast…

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Goat Simulator hides a demonic sacrifice ritual
Games

Goat Simulator hides a demonic sacrifice ritual

Because causing mild suburban property damage entirely lacks ambition. Tucked away in a dark corner of the rural map, an aggressively sinister circle demands…

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In Factorio, pollution brings angry aliens
Games

In Factorio, pollution brings angry aliens

Instead of dealing with standard evil villains, your absolute worst enemy is environmentalism. As you aggressively expand your massive industrial machinery to…

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Almost every curling stone comes from one tiny island
Games

Almost every curling stone comes from one tiny island

Because sliding heavily polished rocks across a frozen sheet of water requires absolute geographical exclusivity. Nearly every professional stone utilized…

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Croquet appeared once at the Olympics
Games

Croquet appeared once at the Olympics

Apparently, aggressively tapping wooden balls through wire hoops lacked the massive global appeal required for athletic greatness. Featured precisely once…

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In RollerCoaster Tycoon, you can drown your guests
Games

In RollerCoaster Tycoon, you can drown your guests

When a digital visitor dares to aggressively complain about exorbitant ticket prices, a swift and brutal reprisal is immediately necessary. Park managers…

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Airsoft leaves tiny plastic orbs everywhere
Games

Airsoft leaves tiny plastic orbs everywhere

Because enthusiastically shooting friends with incredibly realistic imitation weaponry absolutely requires making a massive mess. Every single weekend…

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How black paths hide vomit in RollerCoaster Tycoon
Games

How black paths hide vomit in RollerCoaster Tycoon

Because virtual janitors are surprisingly lazy when the lighting is poor. The park management simulation is meticulously programmed so that nauseated visitors…

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Terraria makes you sacrifice the guide to summon a boss
Games

Terraria makes you sacrifice the guide to summon a boss

Because progression heavily demands ultimate betrayal. The friendly neighborhood guide who carefully teaches you how to construct simple wooden doors must…

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Winning Four Square meant making the rules
Games

Winning Four Square meant making the rules

Nothing teaches absolute authoritarianism faster than four painted boxes on asphalt. Whoever manages to aggressively secure the dominant quadrant immediately…

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Papers Please makes stamping fake passports deeply stressful
Games

Papers Please makes stamping fake passports deeply stressful

Who knew that checking paperwork in a heavily depressed dystopian checkpoint could induce absolute sheer panic. You are aggressively tasked with manually…

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When basketball hoops had no open bottoms
Games

When basketball hoops had no open bottoms

Before someone finally realized that manually retrieving a projectile after every single score was immensely stupid, the sport utilized literal fruit crates.…

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Angry Birds proudly weaponize themselves against structures
Games

Angry Birds proudly weaponize themselves against structures

Because aggressively retrieving stolen unhatched eggs absolutely demands extreme suicidal tactics. These completely flightless colorful fowls willingly load…

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