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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Crystal gazing became extremely popular after John of Salisbury complained about it in the twelfth century
Myths & mysteries

Crystal gazing became extremely popular after John of Salisbury complained about it in the twelfth century

Crystal balls only became the ultimate mystic aesthetic because a medieval bishop wrote a massive, hateful rant about how much he despised them. In the 12th…

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French occultist Eliphas Levi failed out of the priesthood before writing the modern rules of high magic
Myths & mysteries

French occultist Eliphas Levi failed out of the priesthood before writing the modern rules of high magic

If you can't succeed in traditional religion, you might as well just invent your own esoteric rulebook. Alphonse Louis Constant dropped out of seminary…

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Ark of the Covenant was basically just a solid gold throne
Myths & mysteries

Ark of the Covenant was basically just a solid gold throne

Pop culture endlessly portrays this golden artifact as a terrifying weapon of mass destruction. However, strictly analyzing ancient historical texts reveals…

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Medieval churches fought over owning the foreskin of Jesus
Myths & mysteries

Medieval churches fought over owning the foreskin of Jesus

During the highly competitive Middle Ages, no fewer than eighteen wildly different European churches vehemently claimed to possess this incredibly specific…

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Thousands sat on residential roofs expecting the end times
Myths & mysteries

Thousands sat on residential roofs expecting the end times

In the nineteenth century, a rural preacher mathematically calculated the exact date the entire world would violently end. Tens of thousands of totally…

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Ancient artists depicted Saint Christopher with a dog head
Myths & mysteries

Ancient artists depicted Saint Christopher with a dog head

Due to a hilarious mistranslation from a term meaning from Canaan, medieval artists assumed Saint Christopher belonged to a mythical race of dog headed…

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Texan cultists hoarded massive arsenals for the apocalypse
Myths & mysteries

Texan cultists hoarded massive arsenals for the apocalypse

The Branch Davidians entirely rejected peaceful preparations for the rapidly approaching end times. Because they genuinely believed the fiery conclusion of…

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Medieval trials required carrying red hot iron unburned
Myths & mysteries

Medieval trials required carrying red hot iron unburned

Medieval judicial systems lacked forensic science, so they entirely relied on thermal trauma. If you were accused of a serious crime, the court would simply…

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Bogomils believed the physical world was built by Satan
Myths & mysteries

Bogomils believed the physical world was built by Satan

This Balkan sect argued that the supreme deity only created the spiritual realm, while the devil constructed everything physical. Therefore, they refused to…

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Mayan royalty pierced their genitals with stingray spines
Myths & mysteries

Mayan royalty pierced their genitals with stingray spines

To maintain cosmic balance, ancient Mayan rulers had to routinely offer their own royal blood to the divine entities. To ensure maximum ceremonial impact,…

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Carpocratians believed sinning was mandatory for heaven
Myths & mysteries

Carpocratians believed sinning was mandatory for heaven

Talk about an incredible theological loophole. The Carpocratian sect believed the only way to free your soul from the physical prison of the world was to…

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The sect that turned bodily fluids into sacraments
Myths & mysteries

The sect that turned bodily fluids into sacraments

Because normal sacramental wine was too boring, the Borborite sect decided to consume human bodily excretions during their services. They genuinely believed…

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Sixty year old prophetess claimed she carried the messiah
Myths & mysteries

Sixty year old prophetess claimed she carried the messiah

Joanna Southcott was a totally ordinary woman until she announced at age sixty four that she was miraculously pregnant with the new savior. She tragically…

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Early church members slept with ascetics to test resolve
Myths & mysteries

Early church members slept with ascetics to test resolve

Early church members loved a good test of willpower. Spiritual ascetics would frequently share a bed with female virgins just to prove to the entire…

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Radical sects conducted church services entirely nude
Myths & mysteries

Radical sects conducted church services entirely nude

The Adamites strongly believed that original sin was a total historical mistake that could be aggressively reversed. To recapture the absolute pure innocence…

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Thousands of recognized priests worship The Big Lebowski
Myths & mysteries

Thousands of recognized priests worship The Big Lebowski

Based entirely on the iconic slacker protagonist from a nineties movie, this legally recognized movement boasts hundreds of thousands of ordained priests.…

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Auguste Comte created a totally secular religion for humanity
Myths & mysteries

Auguste Comte created a totally secular religion for humanity

This pioneering French sociologist deeply hated traditional dogma but absolutely loved complex church bureaucracy. He specifically designed a totally godless…

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Ophites explicitly revered the serpent from Eden
Myths & mysteries

Ophites explicitly revered the serpent from Eden

In another brilliant display of totally backward theology, the Ophite sect argued that the infamous garden snake was actually the good guy. They believed the…

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British sect kept a sealed box waiting for twenty bishops
Myths & mysteries

British sect kept a sealed box waiting for twenty bishops

The Panacea Society guarded a supposedly world saving wooden box left by a prophetess. The only catch was that it could absolutely only be opened if exactly…

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Thirteenth century French peasants worshipped a greyhound
Myths & mysteries

Thirteenth century French peasants worshipped a greyhound

Because human saints are apparently overrated, French peasants started venerating a dog named Guinefort who died protecting a baby from a snake. The local…

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Early Christian sect venerated Cain as a misunderstood hero
Myths & mysteries

Early Christian sect venerated Cain as a misunderstood hero

Some groups absolutely love a contrarian take. The Cainites believed that the creator of the physical world was utterly evil, which meant anyone he punished…

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Caribbean worshippers regularly sacrifice chickens to Orishas
Myths & mysteries

Caribbean worshippers regularly sacrifice chickens to Orishas

Santeria practitioners maintain a highly hands on approach to gaining divine favor. Rather than just offering quiet prayers, they actively dispatch live…

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Muggletonians insisted God was exactly six feet tall
Myths & mysteries

Muggletonians insisted God was exactly six feet tall

While most major faiths prefer their supreme beings to be formless and infinite, this obscure English sect firmly disagreed. They vehemently argued that the…

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Inspirationists confessed their deepest sins in public
Myths & mysteries

Inspirationists confessed their deepest sins in public

Privacy was strictly forbidden in the Amana Colonies. Whenever a member committed any minor infraction, they were entirely required to stand before the entire…

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