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Transport

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Wallets compress personal identity into back pockets
Transport

Wallets compress personal identity into back pockets

We take all our crucial identification, paper currency, and plastic cards, squash them between two pieces of leather, and sit on them. The wallet is an absurd…

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Why fries are perfect ketchup scoops
Transport

Why fries are perfect ketchup scoops

While people claim to love potatoes, the fry is really just an edible shovel. Its rigid structure and salty surface make it the absolute perfect tool for…

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Pita pockets naturally open up for heavy stuffing
Transport

Pita pockets naturally open up for heavy stuffing

Unlike normal bread that you have to slice, the pita naturally inflates in the oven to create a hollow cave. It is an organically occurring edible envelope…

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Forks operate as aggressive food spearing transit
Transport

Forks operate as aggressive food spearing transit

Instead of carefully scooping our meals, we decided to violently stab them with miniature tridents. The fork secures your bite-sized pieces through sheer…

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Briefcases are carrying fewer files and more snacks
Transport

Briefcases are carrying fewer files and more snacks

The hard-shell briefcase used to scream corporate power, filled with top-secret documents. Today, it mostly serves as an overly formal transit box for a…

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Burritos tightly wrap diverse ingredients into tubes
Transport

Burritos tightly wrap diverse ingredients into tubes

When you have rice, beans, cheese, and salsa, eating them separately takes forever. The burrito compresses a massive, sprawling dinner into a tight, portable…

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Cardboard boxes dominate residential relocation
Transport

Cardboard boxes dominate residential relocation

Whenever humans decide to change habitats, we reduce our entire existence into identical brown squares. The cardboard box is the undisputed king of moving…

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Straws act as miniature beverage transit tubes
Transport

Straws act as miniature beverage transit tubes

Because tilting a glass is apparently too much physical labor, we rely on tiny plastic cylinders to suck liquids directly into our mouths. The straw is a lazy…

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Studio carts silently move film crews around lots
Transport

Studio carts silently move film crews around lots

In the sprawling complexes of Hollywood, nobody actually walks. Giant sets require crews to zip around silently in modified electric buggies, ferrying…

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Why hard taco shells explode when you bite them
Transport

Why hard taco shells explode when you bite them

Hard taco shells are arguably the worst transit vehicles ever designed. They promise a secure, crunchy envelope for your meat and cheese, but the moment you…

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Why shopping bags multiply under your kitchen sink
Transport

Why shopping bags multiply under your kitchen sink

We bring a large paper bag home from the store, empty it, and immediately shove it inside another, larger bag. This creates a terrifying, ever-expanding…

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Why paper straws give out mid-drink
Transport

Why paper straws give out mid-drink

In an attempt to be better for the environment, we replaced reliable plastic transit tubes with tightly rolled paper. The result is a fragile beverage tunnel…

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Why everyone clicks tongs before using them
Transport

Why everyone clicks tongs before using them

It is a universal human instinct that before you use tongs to transport a salad or flip a steak, you must aggressively click them together like crab claws.…

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Sushi rolls pack entire meals into bite-sized units
Transport

Sushi rolls pack entire meals into bite-sized units

Instead of eating fish, rice, and seaweed separately, chefs brilliantly roll them into a tight log and slice them into pucks. This guarantees that a pair of…

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Hampers effectively hide soiled garments until Sunday
Transport

Hampers effectively hide soiled garments until Sunday

The hamper isn't just storage; it is a specialized holding cell for clothes in transit. It keeps your smelly gym socks entirely out of sight, letting you…

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Pitchers elegantly pour mass quantities of iced tea
Transport

Pitchers elegantly pour mass quantities of iced tea

Rather than making ten individual trips to the kitchen, a pitcher allows a host to bring a massive reservoir of liquid directly to the table. Its specially…

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Coat hangers suspend fabric for dark closet transit
Transport

Coat hangers suspend fabric for dark closet transit

Rather than laying things flat, we slide pieces of wire inside our shirts and hook them onto a metal bar. It allows us to slide our entire wardrobe…

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Taking out the trash is a weekly walk of shame
Transport

Taking out the trash is a weekly walk of shame

Once a week, we load all our empty takeout boxes and bad decisions into a massive plastic bin and drag it to the curb. It is a slow, noisy walk of shame,…

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