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Myths & mysteries

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Myths & mysteries

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Chanting specific syllables achieves literal godhood
Myths & mysteries

Chanting specific syllables achieves literal godhood

Reaching the highest echelons of the universe by repeatedly singing the word 'Hu' is surprisingly efficient. Adherents believe chanting this precise syllable…

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Monism collapses everything into one
Myths & mysteries

Monism collapses everything into one

This philosophy strips away all diversity by claiming only a single substance exists. If everything is fundamentally made of the exact same unified fabric,…

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Raziel supposedly knows absolutely every hidden secret
Myths & mysteries

Raziel supposedly knows absolutely every hidden secret

Positioned perfectly close to the supreme divine source, this entity allegedly hears and heavily records every completely classified universal mystery.…

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Kundalini awakenings mimic severe panic attacks
Myths & mysteries

Kundalini awakenings mimic severe panic attacks

Enlightenment feels surprisingly like a severe medical emergency. Kundalini awakenings are often described as intense, terrifying bodily surges that perfectly…

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Pythias the Greek explorer claimed to have found a mystical northern island of eternal ice named Thule
Myths & mysteries

Pythias the Greek explorer claimed to have found a mystical northern island of eternal ice named Thule

If you sail far enough north and survive, you essentially get to make up whatever geographical lies you want. Pythias ventured towards the Arctic in 325 BC…

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Birthstones were a marketing gimmick invented by early twentieth century jewelers to boost profits
Myths & mysteries

Birthstones were a marketing gimmick invented by early twentieth century jewelers to boost profits

Your profound spiritual connection to your birthstone was orchestrated by a boardroom of executives. In 1912, the National Association of Jewelers arbitrarily…

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Astrologers in the sixteenth century were frequently hired to cast horoscopes for sick horses
Myths & mysteries

Astrologers in the sixteenth century were frequently hired to cast horoscopes for sick horses

Before it was used to justify your toxic dating habits, astrology was serious veterinary science. In Elizabethan England, wealthy people wouldn't just use…

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Spiritual dryness occurs when prayer feels like a chore
Myths & mysteries

Spiritual dryness occurs when prayer feels like a chore

Even the most hardcore devotees eventually hit a wall where chanting feels exactly like doing taxes. They reframed this profound boredom as a necessary,…

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Reincarnation beliefs in the West conveniently feature people remembering past lives as famous royalty
Myths & mysteries

Reincarnation beliefs in the West conveniently feature people remembering past lives as famous royalty

The math on past life regression therapies is incredibly suspicious. Mystical seekers undergoing hypnotic regression in the West almost always 'remember'…

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Planets stuck in detriment act completely helpless because they are positioned far from their home signs
Myths & mysteries

Planets stuck in detriment act completely helpless because they are positioned far from their home signs

If a specific area of your life feels like you're trying to swim in jeans, check for planets in detriment. This occurs when a planet is placed in the zodiac…

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Eleventh house dictates step-children and friend groups
Myths & mysteries

Eleventh house dictates step-children and friend groups

This bizarrely specific house governs large networks of people and children that belong to your partner. It implies that managing a group chat is just as…

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Suhrawardi claimed light is everything
Myths & mysteries

Suhrawardi claimed light is everything

Forget atoms or matter; this twelfth-century thinker argued that absolutely everything in existence is just varying intensities of pure light. If something is…

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Romantic compatibility charts require your exact birth time so your partner can judge your moon sign
Myths & mysteries

Romantic compatibility charts require your exact birth time so your partner can judge your moon sign

Modern dating is terrifying enough without someone demanding to text your mother for a birth certificate. Synastry charts overlay two people’s planetary…

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Star Sirius was so important to ancient Egyptians that its annual rising triggered their entire calendar year
Myths & mysteries

Star Sirius was so important to ancient Egyptians that its annual rising triggered their entire calendar year

Forget waiting for January first; ancient Egypt functioned entirely around a single exceptionally bright star. When Sirius appeared on the horizon just before…

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Ouspensky thought absolutely everyone was permanently asleep
Myths & mysteries

Ouspensky thought absolutely everyone was permanently asleep

Building on his highly esoteric teachers, Ouspensky claimed that every single normal human is practically a walking automaton. He pitched the incredibly…

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Celtic seers intentionally induced prophetic dreams about the future by sleeping wrapped in bloody bull hides
Myths & mysteries

Celtic seers intentionally induced prophetic dreams about the future by sleeping wrapped in bloody bull hides

Want to know who is going to win the next battle? Just slaughter a bull, drink a bunch of its blood, wrap its warm, freshly flayed skin around your entire…

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Levitating across raging rivers avoids dangerous swimming
Myths & mysteries

Levitating across raging rivers avoids dangerous swimming

Building bridges takes effort, so gliding right over the rapids is highly efficient. Witnesses frequently reported ecstatic figures effortlessly drifting…

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Mushrooms belong strictly to Mercury
Myths & mysteries

Mushrooms belong strictly to Mercury

Fast-growing, slightly weird, and popping up out of nowhere—sounds exactly like typical Mercury behavior. This fast-moving ruler oversees fungi because they…

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