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The organ piece whose finale comes in 2640
History

The organ piece whose finale comes in 2640

Patience is a virtue, but this is ridiculous. An avant-garde organ piece in a German church is currently playing so slowly that the chords only change every…

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In Sengoku Japan, yesterday’s ally could be today’s enemy
History

In Sengoku Japan, yesterday’s ally could be today’s enemy

A century of endless civil war meant loyalty was an incredibly flexible concept. Warlords routinely signed blood oaths one day only to aggressively flank and…

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The rooster that went on trial for laying an egg
History

The rooster that went on trial for laying an egg

Talk about punishing a biological miracle. In 1474, the town of Basel held a highly formal trial for a rooster that supposedly laid an egg, ultimately burning…

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Oxygen discovery was published years after finding it
History

Oxygen discovery was published years after finding it

In the academic world, procrastinating can literally cost you the discovery of the air we breathe. A brilliant chemist managed to isolate pure oxygen gas but…

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The king whose jaw was deformed by inbreeding
History

The king whose jaw was deformed by inbreeding

Generations of relentless royal inbreeding produced a monarch whose face practically defied basic biology. The Spanish king had a lower jaw so severely…

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The executioner who kept a diary of 706 punishments
History

The executioner who kept a diary of 706 punishments

When your dad is forced into the head-chopping business, you log your decapitations like a deranged corporate accountant. In the 16th century, executioner…

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Ancient elites paid to drink breast milk
History

Ancient elites paid to drink breast milk

Forget retirement homes; rich elders in ancient China just bought breast milk. They believed drinking it directly from wet nurses would restore their fading…

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Ancient Egyptians put miniature bakeries in tombs
History

Ancient Egyptians put miniature bakeries in tombs

You can't take your riches with you, but you definitely need carbs in the afterlife. Elaborate tombs often included intricate, miniature wooden models of…

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Newton and Hooke's bitter fight over gravity
History

Newton and Hooke's bitter fight over gravity

The scientific revolution was mostly just brilliant men acting like incredibly petty toddlers. Robert Hooke practically invented modern microscopy, but he…

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Vermeer painted only about 34 pictures
History

Vermeer painted only about 34 pictures

Talk about doing the absolute bare minimum to achieve historical immortality. Vermeer worked at such a hilariously glacial pace that he only managed to finish…

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Stalin had foreign leaders’ feces analyzed
History

Stalin had foreign leaders’ feces analyzed

Trust issues are normal in politics, but stealing your allies' bio-waste is just deranged. Soviet secret police created special toilets to harvest the…

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Massive Egyptian statue was carved from a single stone block
History

Massive Egyptian statue was carved from a single stone block

Building an enormous monument usually involves carefully stacking smaller pieces over decades. The builders of the Great Sphinx looked at a massive,…

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The pope accused of running a Vatican brothel
History

The pope accused of running a Vatican brothel

Holy infallibility apparently has a few historical loopholes. Pope John XII took the papacy in the 10th century and immediately turned the Lateran Palace into…

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NASA renamed spacesuit sizes to stop urine leaks
History

NASA renamed spacesuit sizes to stop urine leaks

Even in the cold, unforgiving vacuum of space, male ego ruins everything. During the Apollo missions, astronauts wore essentially highly engineered space…

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When a cloudy week defeated the sundial
History

When a cloudy week defeated the sundial

Relying on literal shadows to tightly manage your schedule worked wonderfully until a cloudy week in winter completely ruined your entire itinerary.

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When German nobles launched live foxes into the air
History

When German nobles launched live foxes into the air

Because being rich in the 17th century meant you had way too much free time. Nobles would stand in a field holding a long sling, waiting for a terrified fox…

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The Vatican's telescope sits on the Pope's summer estate
History

The Vatican's telescope sits on the Pope's summer estate

Because looking for divine answers down here clearly wasn't working, the Catholic Church operates an advanced astronomical observatory right on the roof of…

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First calculator was a massive mechanical box
History

First calculator was a massive mechanical box

Doing taxes in the seventeenth century required serious arm strength. Pascal invented a gear-driven box that could add and subtract via a complex series of…

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